The L. F. Nexus

The Fourth Generation

 

Satire

Just for Fun

 

Sunday, June 12, 2011

 

 

This portion of our website, which always has the small, blue Alfred E. Neuman graphic, was designed to be entertaining.  On this portion of our website we are careless about all fact, truth, and reality.  You have been warned!

 

 
Atheist Psychiatrists
 
Question>  How many atheist psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
 
Answer>  Ten.  One to screw in the light bulb and nine to figure out whether the light bulb is Gay.
 
 
Big City Gangs
 
Here is our solution to the murdering, big city gangs:
 
Round up all the gang members and dump them in the middle of Afghanistan to fight the Taliban.
 
Of course, since gang members are cowards, they would drop their weapons, throw up their hands, and surrender to the Taliban.
 
 
Cowardly Liberal Intellectuals

 

So far, we have defeated over 10 million cowardly, liberal intellectuals in debate on subjects ranging from evolution to government.  Thousands of them have broken out in tears and begged us to stop telling the truth because the truth is causing them to become very depressed.

 

 

Evolutionists

 

Question>  What do you call ten thousand evolutionists at the bottom of the primordial ocean?

 

Answer>  A good start.

 

 

Gays

 

I’m really tired of hearing about Gays and Gay this and Gay that.  Let’s deport them all to Iran.  The Gays will then realize how much freedom they are really missing out on.

 

 

Join AsBot – The Airport Security Boycott

 

Join the 2 million members of AsBot against the stupid Democrats’, stupid federal government, stupid TSA intrusion into our privacy at airports around our country.  If a TSA agent plans on forcing my daughter through the body scanner and plans on patting her down, they should know that I’m bringing my gun with me to the airport and will blow them away if they try to do either!

 

 

Illegal Immigrants

 

All illegal immigrants should be deported back to their home countries and children born of them in America should have their citizenship rescinded (cancelled).  Children born of illegal immigrants in the United States should not be granted citizenship.

 

 

Mexican Drug Cartels

 

The U.S. Military should enter Mexico with tanks, artillery, bombers, and fighter jets and, beginning in northern Mexico and working their way southward, working with the Mexican military, kill every drug cartel member.

 

 

Muslims

 

Here’s the difference between miracles in the Bible and so-called miracles in the Muslim’s “holy” book, the Koran:

 

The Bible says that Jesus healed a blind man.

 

The Koran says that a worm crawled out of a man’s nose then sprouted wings.  It then flew across the ocean to a foreign land where it met a turtle.  The worm told the turtle that it was hungry.  The turtle told the worm that he had no food then…scruuumfffff…the turtle gobbled up the worm.

 

 

Nancy Pelosi & Harry Reid

 

Can someone please tell me why I get physically ill sometimes when I hear these people talk?

 

 

Our Critics

 

We have no mercy for our critics.  This is why we are hunting them down and, when we find them, tying them to chairs and, then, forcing them to listen to Gilbert Gottfried for 24 hours explaining to them the difference between satire and fact.

 

 

The Democratic Party

 

Democrats must be insane since they act like the country will never have to pay back the money it owes.

 

 

The Federal Government

 

When I think of the federal government, several curse words just pop into my head; therefore, I will keep my mouth shut.  Well, I will say the following, at least.  Stop putting our country into debt, especially to China!

 

 

TSA

 

Is it time to start beating TSA agents?

 

 

Women

 

Women must stay at home, do housework (cleaning, cooking, laundry, etc.), have babies, and take care of the children.  They must never get a college education, let alone a Ph.D.  They must never enter professional life; they cannot be doctors, lawyers, policewomen, senators, etc., etc.  Above all else, they must never run for President!  Yet, even more important than all of that, they must never learn the difference between satire and reality!

 

 

 

 

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